“I am a therapist living in Dublin, Ireland, and I work with victims of narcissistic abuse. I just want to congratulate you on your site, and to say what a topping article this is. It is full of accurate information for giving hope to what can seem like a hopeless situation when you are a victim of narcissistic abuse.” – Christine Louis de Canonville, Author of The Three Faces of Evil: Unmasking the Full Spectrum of Narcissistic Abuse
"Shahida, I am so impressed with your writings and blog posts. You are such a brilliant woman, and I know you are helping so many people heal through narcissistic abuse. I just wanted to give you a shout out that I am a therapist who specializes in helping survivors of narcissistic abuse out here in CA. I wanted you to know that I refer my clients to your website, I think that highly of your wisdom. Thanks for making a difference in this world and helping the world go round in positive ways." - Andrea Schneider, LCSW, MSW, Author of Soul Vampires: Reclaiming our Lifeblood After Narcissistic Abuse
"Shahida, I am incredibly impressed with the work you are doing. You have been paving the way for so many survivors to find recovery and from a viewpoint that they can relate to. I have already sent your article [Your Brain on Love, Sex and the Narcissist] to several clients. Excellent information and writing!" - Shannon Thomas, LCSW, Southlake Christian Counseling
“I am reading your book, have watched your videos and read your blogs. More than any other single element in my recovery, you have contributed the largest part to my healing from co-dependency. You have provided the insight into the working of the abuser’s mind, the tactics and now the chemicals and how they work. You have also taught me how to take care of myself. While I know I’m a work in progress and CoDA meetings, materials and my sponsor play a role too…I cannot thank you enough for expressing your knowledge on this topic. you have made a HUGE difference in my life! Thank you!!!” – thecrysalis
"If you haven't read Shahida's book, you're missing out on some great teachings." - Kim Saeed, Let Me Reach, Author of How to Do No Contact Like a Boss
“Powerful truths.” – Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSA, Clinical Care Consultants on “What Abuse Survivors Don’t Know”
“I linked to Narcissists Get Inside Your Head’ in the recent Sophia’s Children post on ‘Withholding’ (part of the Resources for Empaths & Sensitives Series).But since it’s so relevant on a number of levels, particularly to some of the less savory interpersonal dynamics that are in play in our interpersonal experiences at home, at work, in the community — particularly with research showing a disconcerting leap in Narcissistic behavior — I wanted to share Shahida’s article in full, on its own.She spotlights some of the specific toxic-tactics that, while normalized in a ‘tough love’, bully-centric culture, are actually abusive and harmful. So it’s wise to have a look and be better able to recognize them as they come up, which gives us the option of practicing into more healthy, self-and-other respecting ways of relating (or choosing to disentangle from chronically disrespectful relationships).I particularly appreciate that Shahida includes ‘triangulation’ in her list of toxic-tactics to recognize, as it’s a common ploy and yet not as frequently noted. Thanks to Shahida!” – Jaime, SophiasChildren
“This is another excellent resource for anyone who suspects or knows they’re entangled in a sticky narcissistic web. Thanks to Shahida Arabi for this valuable post.” – Laura Bruno
“Your podcast and blog is very informative and an absolute blessing!! It has helped me immensely in sorting out the confusion and complete devastation during and after narcissistic abuse. The wise insight and information provided has given me the guidance needed to help break the strong addictive emotional bonds and to continue with no contact. The journey has been excruciating, but knowing these disordered personality types will never change and the person that was first presented during the early predatory stage of 'love bombing' was never authentic has given me the courage to look within, to set firm boundaries and finally begin to let go. It's hard to let go of the fairytale, but in doing so I have found that (little by little) the hypnotic fog and heart wrenching nightmare that was attached is finally fading. All the best to the author. Knowledge is power and your info on the subject which I think is vastly misunderstood or otherwise unknown is saving lives. I am forever grateful! Many thanks!!” – Jessica
“I admire your ability to maintain such a powerful, self--respecting perspective. Your words of encouragement and validation have been so influential. Had I not come across your blog, there's a very good chance I would have been dragging the end of this relationship out in a much more painful way. “ – Coaching Client
"Your books are the narcissist's kryptonite because they give women back their superpowers! I still can't thank you enough. You really changed my life and kept me sane. To look back at the messages I wrote to you, I really wasn't doing well. You helped me to get to where I am now. Thank you Shahida. I can only hope there are more girls that find you because you are amazing. You are such an inspiration to me and are so beautiful, powerful, intelligent. You have something so special, you can connect with women from a bad situation and you can counsel them no matter the distance, You'll never know how much you have helped me. I've come back fighting since you helped me get back my peace of mind." - Coaching Client
“I want to thank you for this site..this was the information I needed to see to realize I want losing my mind..and gave me the courage to go..FULL NO CONTACT!” -olderandmuchwiser
“I found the blog very accurate with my experience and all the stuff that I’ve read. Thanks to the blog owner… You write so well. Not all of us are so gifted in writing, so be sure that what you do helps many!”
“Beautiful and helpful post, you cannot read those points enough and you phrased everything so well. Thank you.” -betternotbroken
“I’m not a blogger and I only created this account to let you know how much reading this has meant to me. I was 19 when I was in an abusive relationship and finally got the courage to walk away…I stayed for as long as I did because he had never hurt me physically before and I didn’t consider what was going on abuse. Deep down I knew something was wrong and I still stayed. I’m turning 21 now and this article explains most of what I’m feeling…It’s been over a year and I still can’t believe that I fell victim to what he did to me. You hear about it in school and you know that what they explain is abuse but when it happens to you you don’t see it because that sort of stuff always happens to someone else. Reading this article though has me looking at things a little differently. Thank you for showing me that people understand and know it’s not my fault.” -sammi
“WOW!!! How I wish I had read “Dating Emotional Predators:Signs To Look For” 6 months ago! Every sign precisely described the guy I was dating. This would have saved me months of wasted time.”
“Awesome article. Very articulate and very well thought out. I think you hit bulls eye with all the manipulation tactics you just named.” – Rachel B.
“OW!! That was as if someone had been living inside my walls and watching what was going on! Wish I had known that a long time ago.”
“I have done a lot of research on this. It was this article that listed out exactly what I had just lived through over the past 4 years. I will be recovering for a long time. It means so much to understand and know that I am not alone. Thank you!”
“This is what I have survived recently. As a result of reading this, and realizing it was what I was dealing with, I finally cut this guy out of my life for good. Time to start healing now!” -Joy
“This blog post is amazing, thank you so much for writing it. Such great explanation of the issue, which everyone reading can take strong advice from. It breaks my heart that people are victim to this and worse, but articles like this can really help.” – Scott
“Thank you. Simply thank you. You are putting back some good into our world. Thank you.” -Anna L.
“I am in awe that you have accurately depicted the persona of the true narcissist. You are an incredibly insightful person and I hope others can be spared by reading this.” -Toni
“WHAT A GREAT READ! This is the best most accurate depiction of a narcissist I have read. Self care haven, GREAT JOB! This is helpful and I am sure it has helped others. All of these are difficult things to deal with. The most important thing is to take this knowledge and TAKE ACTION! Life is too short to be in an uncomfortable situation and life is toooo long to be in an uncomfortable situation. Good luck to everyone that was brought to this article for whatever reason. We can do it. Best of luck to everyone!” – Steve S.
“All I can say is WOW, this article is the best I’ve read. Not just for describing narcissistic behavior but also the effects it has during the relationship as well as the after effects the abuse has on the abused person. You describe each phase in such a way it was like you had been watching him.” -Mary N.
“If you have ever been in a “relationship” with a malignant narcissist, you’ll appreciate what this writer has described in this article.” -Faida
“This article was tough to get through but SO helpful. I am woven throughout this story and recently divorced a Narcissist after one year of marriage. I used to think a Narcissist was someone who was self-centered or “cocky” but it wasn’t until I lived through the storm and came out the other side that I saw the true affliction.... Please head this article’s advice and take care of yourself, detach and heal! I can’t stop referring to this article! When you have been in this relationship and so confused on what went wrong and why can’t you fix it….this article puts all the pieces together. The peace is that there is nothing you did or can do to make it ok. For me that helped in letting go. I went through the break up with no contact before I found this article…not sure how I knew but it was the only option. We weren’t speaking the same language. The day I locked the door I told him “today it stops for me” and I meant it. It will be a year on Sunday and even though I’m still haunted with questions time to time…I’m a new person. This article is power – not to let it happen again. ” – Kendall
“This is fantastic. So succinct – everything is here on this page. I am male, and was in a year-long relationship with a covert female narc, reached about 100+ days No Contact today. She did all of these things to me…My life has been turned upside down – I have lost my home, my life partner, my friend, my future life, and the person I was ready to marry never even existed. And people just think I’m not very good at getting over a break-up. I have purchased dozens of books & e-books, seen 2 therapists but this page contains the Aleph, the alpha and the omega of what they do. Thank you, my love goes out to all who have suffered.” – Simon R.
“Excellent article. One of the best I’ve read so far.” -Mandy L.
“Anyone who has been in a relationship with a narcissist can truly identify with this article….it’s spot on, the most accurate I’ve read.” – Moira
“That is so true, read this some time ago, someone posted it on their FB. It was like a light blub finally went off. After 4 years in a relationship (which it finally ended a couple years ago) it is a life of emotional roller coaster, highs, lows and above all confusion manipulation .. all which leaves you not even knowing what norm is anymore. All which becomes easy to be sucked right back in, falling into the fantasy trance (and I have always been a strong independent woman). Do not get me wrong, there were times I went through medical books to see if there was some type of mental illness here. but they do not put things in the terms there we need. This was one of the most clear and right on articles I have seen and gave me closure.” – Vickie D.
“Wow. After 11 yrs (and 3yrs of marriage) I finally came across this article. First of all, thanks so much for it – I believe it has saved my sanity. The very next day after reading this, my husband used the “other woman” tactic on me. Normally this would have sent me into a rage or depression, but today I have a deeper understanding of his games and decided not to give in. I am working on the no contact phase today and hopefully some day I will recover from too many years of verbal and sometimes physical abuse. I did post this article to my FB, in hopes it will help some one else.” -Darcy
The YouTube Channel
“Great work dear one... Keep inspiring Dear One..it is the way we spread love and light through the world.” -Lisa A. Romano, Breakthrough Life Coach
“I really like the affirmations you used. Wonderful meditation :)” -Kim Saeed, Let Me Reach
“Blaming you for things they've done, phone calls at odd hours... Narcissists may seem overly suspicious of you, which is often because they're the ones who are cheating on you. Great educational video from The Smart Girl's Guide to Self-Care!” -Psychopath Free
“You're such a beautiful, wise person, and such an inspiration to full recovery. Can't wait to get "there" - all the way "there.” Love your vids. Thanks so much!” -Narcissist Free
“What a wonderful video this was. Thanks so much for your efforts.” – Beverly Brown, M.S.
"“That's so true ;-) I love your videos!” -Ingrid, Show Boundaries
“You are brilliant and totally get it.” – Bridget
“Your videos over the years have educated me and helped me overcome my ptsd from narcissist abuse. Thank you for the content and videos you create. You are doing great work in healing those from ptsd. Blessings to you.” – Morena
“Thank you for all your videos. They are very insightful and have helped me get through the no contact staged with my narcissist. cheers to your book and to the person you are today!” - Tam
“You were the first person that I saw in YouTube that helped me realize what Narcissistic abuse was and I will forever be greatful for all your wisdom and knowledge. I am so excited your book is out and definitely will purchase it. Keep doing what you do, you're amazing!!” – Juana
“Excellent video - really informative, really helpful. Absolutely great work. Thank you.” -M
“CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR BOOK , AND WONDERFUL AND SPOT ON VIDIOS , HUGS FROM KAT IN AUSTRALIA XO” -Kat
“Congratulations on your book! You are helping so many including me. :-) Thank you!” -Diana
“This is one of the best interviews on the subject of Narcissism I have ever seen. My goodness you are so articulate, intelligent and bring such warmth and compassion to your viewers. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I see great things for you in your future. ” -Tina
“Awesome interview. And congratulations on your new book! Thank you Shahida for such an insightful interview.” -Ravner
“Very informative and helpful. Just what I needed tonight. Love you, love the channel!” -Jibt
“Comforting to know someone as wonderful, beautiful, articulate and special as yourself could become a target. Thank you for shining so brightly for all of us survivors to see and understand why we became targets. Shahida is only 25! Wow, just wow. This lady is destined for great things and a comfort to me that someone as seemingly strong as Shahida and the interviewer could be preyed upon, as you tend to blame yourself for being deficient. I know this is the narc's projection but they really do know how and where to stick the knife in! Thanks for all the light work you both do.” -Heather
“Out of adversity comes hope and inspiration and you are that hope, inspiration and support (earth angel) that so many people need. Thank you!!
You are such a beautiful young woman, thank you for sharing this information you are helping so many people. YOU ARE FANTASTIC!!!! Light and love xx.” -Kate H.
“You are very wise! thank you for sharing your wisdom, because you are helping a lot of people!” – Elena
“Videos like this change lives - Its no exaggeration when I say it literally saves lives at least in my case anyway. I never knew what Narcissism was as in NPD not the ignorant understanding you describe at the start that I am also guilty of. I was gas-lit so severely that I actually believed I had lost my mind…I stumbled across not just your own but several other youtubers videos on this subject when trying to diagnose MYSELF with my own mental illness. I couldn't believe that I was actually a victim when I was lead to believe I was crazy and ruined my own relationship. EVERYTHING, absolutely every single point, every word, every sentence in this video not one i not dotted or t not crossed, all of it to the proverbial 'T' was a description and High Definition illustration of exactly what happened me over a very intense 6 month relationship. Thank You.” -De
“Thank you for another great video. your videos have helped me so much. And you are absolutely right about the importance of goal setting. when my ex discarded me five months ago for someone else, I began to set small goals on how to write my first book. I have always wanted to do that. I finally finished writing my first book and it is about my own relationship with a Narcissist and the steps I am taking to heal. I mentioned you in my resources section of my book because your blog and channel has helped me so much. Thank you for everything that you do.” -Noraima
“Thank you. It has taken a long time 3 years to finally get to be almost a part of myself. Now I need to do what you say here. Thank you for all of your videos.” – Victoria
“I love watching Self- Care Haven videos. I watch all of them. You are so pretty and I love the way you smile while talking. You also are very intelligent.” -B. Real
“I've been watching your videos for some time has really helped me through the split…Thank you.” – Kara
“Outstanding insight. Thank you for sharing.” -C. Meagen
“Thank you so much for your research and insight on narcissism. After a whole childhood i now have a word and a community of people out there who apparently know well my personal struggle with this type of abuse. I am excited to watch more of your videos and learn how to handle this relationship into my future. I thought there was no hope.” -M.J.
“You have a beautiful talent for explaining these complex issues. probably gained the hard way. love to you.” – Tina G.W.
“Hello, thank you. I've been listening to all of your videos trying to learn as much as I can. I didn't realize how deep the roots of this are…Thank you for your videos, they are all so wonderful and you say everything in a way that so many loose strings now make sense to me, it is so painful being lost in the maze of life and love so thank you so much. Keep up your good work dear lady! Truly.” -Miriam
“I think videos like this a very important for the world! I have suffered personally with this myself so I know it very well... these sorts of patterns can produce abusive people! I'm a guy and I know we're on the same page because this sort of stuff is not gender specific because we are human beings at our core! I know from personal experience that these sorts of environments create unstable people.... this is why Domestic Violence is a problem not just for women but men too. Again -- Great video!” -Infinity
“Thank you for your videos. They are so helpful.” -Belinda
“You have a lot of valuable information for people in this abusive situation. Thank you for sharing and compassion!” -Alicia
“Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have just established a policy of no-contact with a toxic parent and although I have researched mindfulness, yoga in an ad hoc manner these videos are incredibly inspiring and have pulled together all my thoughts about my recovery process. Thanks for taking the time to be a great source of advice and comfort for others.” -Emma B.
“Thank you very much for sharing your knowledge and I'm sure much experience in this field. Really comforting to have this explained well. I have lived with Narcissist Abuse all throughout my life with my family and it has been the most painful never-ending experience to be around them…Learning to self care and take back control has been a real interesting journey that I'm still working on. You can move on and find comfort elsewhere as well as live without a family. There are better people out there who will respect and love you better than your family and make you feel safe and free to be yourself. Thank you for your support.” -S.W.
“Thank you soo much for these vids. I really struggle with no contact and obsessive thoughts about the narcissists I've encountered and your insights, encouragement, and experiences are very helpful.” -Shelly M.
“Your videos are incredibly helpful, thank you so much love!” -C.C.
“You are awesome! This video really spoke to me.” – Kathy
“As always, your right on. Love your videos. Thanks!” -Todd
“POWERFUL MESSAGE!!!! I've seen it all. I've been through hell and back (and then back to hell). I was nearly dead after leaving the relationship. Your vids hit home 100% nearly every time. I've got them linked to my FB group as well. Thanks again! :-)” – Mark
“Not trying to sound like a weirdo or anything but my god you're beautiful I recently got out of a relationship with a narcissistic and this video has helped me a lot thank you I'll def subscribe to this channel!” - Jonathan
“So glad I found your channel. You are lovely. :)” - Mily
“OMG! I'm finding relief in your knowledge! Thank you.” -Melissa
“I love your blog. Your posts and videos have personally helped me! <3” -Heather H.
“Thank you for the clarification. It is good to clarify so others that are not very informed about this subject don't fall into misinterpretations. Thanks for shedding light onto such an important subject, it is very helpful and informative. Keep up the great work!”
“I want to thank you for your words of wisdom and healing. I'm so impressed by you. You seem so young and yet so wise. An old soul perhaps. Your future is bright, girl. Thank you for helping me through this transformation, this time of recover and empowerment. God bless.” - Giselle
“You truly are brilliant!” – Jane
“You’re my hero!” -Aly
“Gorgeous girl I hope you are studying psychology cause you have a gift for it. As young as you are, I love how you explain this disorder which is soooo new to me…thank you thank you.” -Jessica
“Such a beautiful healing meditation. Your work is really helping the road to recovery from my narc ex. Thank you xoxo” -Jasmine T.
“This is excellent. Very well-spoken and insightful.” -eb
“Thanks so much! Your videos always provide me with just the right amount of gentle validation. I am happy now that I have clarity and distance from these sick people. Much peace and blessings to you!” -Chris
“Wow! This describes TO A "T" a relationship I was in. Awesome video. Thank you. This has helped me understand what I went through.” -
“Thank you for being gender-sensitive... I've experienced such sexism in 'support' groups, as a male trying to heal from a female narc.” – Matt
“Holy smokes.. this was frighteningly accurate. Like you were channeling it. Wow. Very enlightening, and excellent video.” -Harold M.
“I'm a huge fan of the clarity with which you explain abusive relationships and their consequences. Always happy to check out your new material. :) Thank you for your continuous endeavour of fixing this world, one video at a time. Brilliant demonstration! Love your videos :D, I'm glad you're back posting them more frequently!” -Jaime G.
“My goodness, I have countless examples of his whatsapps which are almost identical to what you say on the video! (Not to mention the gas lighting he did) Thanks to material like this combined with: Dana G, Spartan life coach, Sam Vaknin, I have inner peace. Thank you xoxo.” -Jasmine
“Thank you for this video, I have dealt with this with my narc husband and you explained it well, very validating, thank you.” -Nicole
“Bravo one of the best on the subject I’ve seen.” -MrMisanthrope
“Very well done! It is hard to describe to others when you find yourself in the middle of a seemingly great relationship, that you are really in the middle of hell! I just wish it was easier to pick them out and RUN from..;) Thanks for the video, I have shared it with others I know this could really help them heal! Bless you Self-Care Haven!” -Raven
“You are Great! :)” -H.
“Wisdom way beyond your years. Or maybe not. Thank you for sharing.” -Mark C.
“Wow you are such an amazing person. I just found your videos today and you are so awesome. When you talked about investment that was powerful. Because I invested 4 years trying to prove to this woman i was the man who could truly love her and show her a wonderful life but all I was was a target or an object that she could misuse and mistreat...I feel like the big strong man I thought I was, is now only a beaten down man who is now trying to pick up the pieces. your words of wisdom are so helpful thank you.” - Jay
“You are the best!!!! ” -Inferno
“Hi Shahida. Thanks for all you do.” -Monique Daviau
“I appreciate all your videos you are so awesome you've totally help me with my life.” -Mark Col.
“So great.. very insightful yet again. You have helped me out so much!” -Narelle
“This is the best, clearest explanation I have heard so far out of all the videos I have watched and artcles I've read.. Kudos!” -jb
“You are amazing. I cannot believe how insightful you are. I listen to you often. Thank you.” -Angela W.
“Really good presentation. Loving your smile. A real pleasure to watch and concisely informative...Keep up the good work.” -Andrew
“This was incredibly powerful for me. I have read and read and read about this. I have been recovering from this EXACT relationship for almost a year now…NOTHING I have read (or heard) so far has hit home more than this has. I feel like I can return to this as needed to remind myself of the incredible anguish I survived. Great reality-check when I'm ruminating and feeling confused all over again. This makes me feel very brave and capable. Thank you! “ -Kelly N.
“Great video, you're very smart. I think the deepest motivation of NPD people is the fear that their Godlike self-delusion is not really true and they will steamroll and exploit to support that self-delusion.” -Amanda V.
“Thank you very much for your insights and teachings. I will be sure to learn more from you.” -Mike Van der
“You are so intelligent and beautiful...thank you for this video and information. You get the message across very well. You have been very helpful, I hope I will be better prepared for how to protect myself from the narcissist in my life. Thank you. You are a beautiful soul...this world needs more people like you...what a wonderful world that would be.” – Puff A.
“Oh my God. You're speaking my life. You're not missing ANYTHING. So impressive. You're saying everything I've been wanting to say for the past 5 years. It's beautiful, correct, compassionate and highly validating. You're hitting EVERYTHING so incredibly well. I'm so proud of such a great representative. I listened to your video like 7 times yesterday. LOL It was so good! I think you gave me a level of validation I didn't have before and I've been integrating it into my path. Keep up the good work, sister.” -SelfLoveU
“Excellent presentation and format for dissemination of a road map to all victims of NPD. You outlined in 17 minutes my entire 11 year marriage to a narc, a 3 year divorce, and an aftermath of 15 years of no contact since.” -Solice
“Thank you one million times over.” -Anne H.
“I deeply appreciate your advice & information in this video. Understanding the reasons behind why my Narcissistic ex has recently wanted us to get back together for the thousandth time, has helped me to finally say no to him for good & reestablish no contact. Thank you!” – Hannah E.
“Omg..I only have a minute to write this as I'm running out the door but, I have to tell you THANK YOU SO SO VERY MUCH for this EXCELLENT VIDEO on this topic that I am currently totally grappling/dealing with but, step by step trying to recover from. This entire topic couldn't be closer to my heart and my heart SO goes out to all who suffer/have suffered from narcissistic abuse. I am a bit older than you, but, related completely to what you're speaking of here and you really did an excellent job, I must tell you, in conveying this information and I found it very timely and helpful so just a BIG THANKS and "high-5" to you, girl…thanks SO MUCH again, to you. God Bless you! I have now subscribed to your channel and very much look forward to hearing more of your videos. I would LOVE to somehow be able to reach out and help other victims, too. I feel it sort of like a "calling" now, after all that I have been through…I wish you so much PEACE and HAPPINESS and LOVE and very much looking forward to hearing more from you on your channel; it's a wonderful thing that you are doing and know that you are helping many; You've already helped me! Namaste:)” – PhoenixRising
“So glad I found your channel. I knew there had to be a woman who could speak about narcissism - thank you!” -Susan
“So well explained, this will help a lot of people who need to understand the reality of dealing with this kind of person.” -StarlightO.
“It’s so refreshing to click on a video, and see a beautiful, empathic and sweet girl going on the same journey as you are.” -Warrior B.
“Best video on triangulation I’ve seen yet…and I’ve seen quite a bit.” - Michael
“Thank you, just left mine and need the education to start the healing process to a better life. Everything you say has helped wake me up to reality.” -Sheila
“There were a few moments during this podcast in which I felt like you knew exactly what I am going through. This helped me to solidify the realization, the acceptance, that I was in a truly abusive relationship. It was not as severe as many but abusive, nonetheless. I don't know exactly HOW I will recover but I feel hope and a sense of direction listening to you. Thank you!” -Tina F.
“Wow! When I first saw the thumbnail I thought, "I wonder if someone so young could know how to give good advice about healing from narcissistic abuse." My next thought though was how sometimes young people are wiser than older people. You are definitely wise beyond your years and you have written a book already?!?!? Wow! That's awesome! Your loved ones must be so proud, as they should be! Congrats!” -movingonandup
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!